I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
