This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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