Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
is wine microwaveable?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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