11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
