I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
