Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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