If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He shit in the fireplace
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
