a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
