I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
