ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
