i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
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