yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
