bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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