Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Is it because I queefed?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
