is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
