I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
