Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
