5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
