no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
