winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
