And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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