im drinking this country out of the recession.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I did not marry a roomba.
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