who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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