Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
