I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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