im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
