So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
