I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
