Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
