Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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