adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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