girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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