you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
