Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
