so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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