Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
