hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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