If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
