That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
