yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
