While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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