There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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