Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
