I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wish you could order shots online.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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