Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
