Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
