I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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