3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
