So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
