Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat

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(410): View more from Maryland

I just found a frying pan...in my bed.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?

(773): View more from Illinois

Too tired to pretend that I care : (

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(760): View more from California

Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that

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(914): View more from New York

When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...

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(425): View more from Washington

Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.

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(410): View more from Maryland

It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.

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(807): View more from Ontario

id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday

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(941): View more from Florida

It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it

(941): View more from Florida

Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini

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