I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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